Laffy Taffy jokes that will make you groan

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Mike C., Mitchell, SD What did the little boy tell the game warden? His dad was in the kitchen poaching eggs!
Patrick B., San Antonio, TX What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
Larissa M., Afton, OK What do you call it when a cat sues another cat? A Clawsuit.
Katie R., Chicago, IL What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing. It just shuts up.
Emily J., DeSoto, MO How can you tell the ocean is friendly? It waves.
Teresa E., DeSoto, MO What's black, white, green and bumpy? A pickle wearing a tuxedo
Christy M., Festus, MO When was meat so high? When the cow jumped over the moon.
Nicole P., Kingman, AZ What happened to the wind? It blew away
Sunuel J., Tuskegee, AL What starts with "T", is full of "T", and ends with "T"? A teapot.
Christine F., Metamore, IL What is a hermit? A girl's baseball glove.
S.H., Deer Park, TX What does a television have in common with a rabbit? His ears!
Dean T., Baton Rouge, LA What did the crop say to the farmer? Why are you always picking on me?
Mathew H., Vancouver, WA What did the guy say when he walked into the bar? Ouch.
Kate M., Alvin, TX How is a locksmith like a typewritter? They both have a lot of keys!
Vaughn N., North Platte, NE What has four legs and goes booo? A cow with a cold
Courtney S., Ann Arbor, MI What is a caterpillar afraid of? A dogerpillar!
Adam S., Dunn Loring, VA Who has the strongest underwear? Arnold Short-sineger
Jamal J., Birmingham, AL Why did the elephant decide not to move? Because he couldn't lift his trunk.
Randy T., Festus, MO Which are the stronger days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Rebekah P., DeSoto, MO Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
Raquel J., St. Louis, MO Why did the strawberry cross the road? Because his mother was in a jam.
Ashley I., Toledo, OH How do you keep a lion from charging? Take away its credit cards.
Michael M., Youngstown OH What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky
Dawn B., Kansas City, MO What is the best way to keep water from running? Don't pay the water bill
Sarah N., Marshall, IL Where do cows go to have fun? The moo-vies!
Katie L., Tyler, TX What time was is when the elephant sat on a chair? Time to get a new chair.
Mordy K., Chicago, IL What did the flower say to the bike? Petal
Brittany H., Highpoint, NC Why do we not tell secrets in a corn patch? Too many ears!
Robert N., Ringgold, GA What's yellow and writes? A ball point banana.
David B., Tulsa, OK Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice? No, but the ice cracked up.
Danny E., Kansas City, MO What word is always spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly.
David E., Ascushnet, MA What should you do if your dog is missing? Check the Lost and Hound.
Ashshanae T., Midway, AL What have you seen that you will never see again?Yesterday!
Anthony B., Augusta, GA Why did the turkey cross the road? To get to the chicken
Ashley J., Council Bluffs, IA Why was Cinderella Late for the ball? She forgot to swing the bat!
Erin P., Kellogg, MN How can you tell there's a hippo in your oven? The oven door won't close.
Holly J., Ventress, LA What do you get when you cross a shark and 'Flipper'? A fat shark.
Niyetta D., Washington, DC What did the lamp say to the other lamp? You turn me on.
Shanda H., Linn Grove, IA What did the sidewalk do when he heard a funny joke? He cracked up.
Nicholas F., Harahan, LA Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
A.P., LeClaire, IA Why did the dalmation need glasses? He was seeing spots.
Laura N., Kingman, AZ What did the book say to the page? Don't turn away from me.
Louis L., New Orleans, LA What do you call a pig in a butcher shop? A pork chop.
Elisha R., New Haven, In France, what do frogs eat? French Flies.
Bradley D., Viroqua, WI What is yellow and wears a mask? The Lone Lemon.
Rachelle B., Scottsdale, AZ What do astronauts eat for dinner? Launch meat.
Evan L., Madison Heights, MI Why is the little duck always so sad? Because he always sees a bill in front of his face.
Carl B., Simsbury, CT What did they digital clock say to its mom? Look mom, no hands.
Adam F., Hinsdale, IL What is the best way to raise a child? In an elevator.
Lakeisha B., Philadelphia, PA What is always behind the time? The back of the clock.
Christopher M., Essexville, MI What's green and sings? "Elvis Parsley!!"
Cayla A., Huntley, IL What has 10 letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
David P., Leawood, KS Why did they bury the battery? Because it was dead.
Anthony A., Salem, OR Why did the chicken go to the library? To check out a bawk, bawk, bawk,bawk.
Jenny R., Orland Park, IL If a woodchuck had a name, what would it be? Chuck Wood.
Christie M., Challis, ID How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Samantha D., Central Point, OR What did one penny say to the other? Let's get together and make some sense.
Taryn G., Deer Park, NY Why don't lobsters share? Because they are shellfish.
Jamie B., Alburnett, IA Why does the man wish he could be a guitar player in a room full of beautiful girls? Because if he was a guitar player, he would have his pick!
Nicholaus L., Sacramento, CA What is a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple
Lauren W., Alton, IL Why did the ghost float across the road? Because he couldn't walk.
Heidi J., Silver Lake, MN What kind of star could hurt you? A shooting star.

These jokes have got to be by far the worst I've ever heard. Half of them don't even make sense. It almost makes me want to send in a few of my own.

Jenny A., Stevens Point, WI What happen? Somebody set up us the bomb
What's cold, black and white and red all over? My skin in the winter

See how easy it can be? And did that make sense? It wasn't even funny.

And here are some from other talented people who did not make it onto the Laffy Taffy wrappers.

Casey L., Stevens Point, WI Why did the bird cross the road? Because, motherfucker.
Anonymous What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
Eric S., Stevens Point, WI What do you do to a pigtree? Porkchop.

If you'd like to be featured on this page but you did not write in to Laffy Taffy you have a few options. One is to write the company with a witty, original joke and hope that your joke is selected. The other is to contact me and I'll decide if it is funny enough to include.